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To Accomplish More, Lead With Kindness

To Accomplish More, Lead With Kindness

Growing up, the only business role model I had was my dad. He was charismatic (when he needed to be). He was wildly successful.

The problem was that he ruled his company with an iron fist. He led with fear, and people in his wake were often left shaking in their figurative boots.

His motto was, “Look out for number one.” 

As you can probably tell, this motto was not based on the preflight safety demonstration that instructs passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before helping others. My father did whatever was best for him without considering how it might hurt those around him.

I remember visiting his office on rare occasions as a child. Sometimes, he was there. When he wasn’t in the office, there was a great energy and buzz. People were relaxed and happy while getting their work done. When he was around, no one would speak to one another unless they absolutely needed to. It was a very stressful vibe, to say the least. I thought this was normal and OK (and boy, was I wrong).

During my first week of college, a business management professor asked my section, “How do you lead if you want to be successful?” 

My hand shot up and I shared my “wisdom” that you need to lead with fear so that people will respect you. I still remember the look on the professor’s face … disbelief, mixed with, “Wow, you must be a spoiled brat, Sandy.” I remember my face turning hot, a feeling of embarrassment washing over  me, but not quite understanding why I felt that way. My dad was successful, he led with fear, and he demanded “respect.” Was there actually another way?


As I started my professional life, I noticed that workplaces came in two general varieties: the cutthroat kind like my dad’s company, where it’s all about the leader and a few at the top getting their way, or the collaborative kind we enjoy at The Simons Group, where we work together for the good of the team, the company and our clients. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned throughout my career. They’ve made me a better leader, and I hope they can do the same for you:

Aim to bring out the best in others

No leader’s job is to be the smartest one in the room. To accomplish anything noteworthy, you have to trust and involve other people who are smarter than you in their areas of expertise. As a leader, you need to collaborate with and foster talent in other people, which can sometimes be a difficult feat. My advice is to find and appreciate what makes everyone different and nurture those differences to bring out the best in them. Ultimately, you’ll make the team stronger.

Be objective, not emotional

Problems and the stress that they bring are daily occurrences in life and in business. While it may be tempting to fly off the handle and react emotionally, try not to. This emotional response can often compound your problems. My suggestion is to take a step back and wait until your emotions have subsided so you can look at the situation objectively. This cooling-off period may take an hour or an entire week – take as much time as you need to ensure that you’re looking at the whole picture. Using this approach will help you tackle the problem, rather than adding fuel to the fire.

Be kind to earn respect

There’s nothing more unappealing than acting like you’re superior. Airs of superiority will only get you so far if you’re leading a team. Instead, try treating others with kindness, even if they don’t return the favor. Some people will appreciate the kindness you show and may respond in the same manner. While you won’t be able to please everyone, being nice will gain you respect from more of your peers.